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I started to keep a 'dream diary'.
Dream diary 1 Place:Daikan-yama This is the day when war is about to start, and I am here sleeping on a yellow sofa at a friend's house. Since my friend needs to get up early next morning, we are already in bed at 12AM., watching scenes of airplanes crashing into the buildings in America. Can't sleep. I toss and turn restlessly in bed. I doze away but find myself wide awake at five (in the morning). Beautiful sunrise. I go out the balcony without asking and watch the paper boy. I see a smokestack of an incineration plant far away. So I don't remember a thing about my dream. Either I didn't have any, or just forgot. |
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Place - Daikan-yama, yellow sofa
Room- apartment house,4 th floor, two rooms and a kitchen. Nightwear - T-shirt (gray with white stripes) and pants Time in bed - 24:00 Time to rise - 5:00 Total hours of sleep - 5 hours Dreams - none Breakfast - Rice balls with tuna, oolong tea (bought them at the convenience store) Event - terrorist attack in New York Dead - 6 (Missing - 6000(estimated )) Dream Diary 2 Place: Nishi-ogikubo Dreamed I was almost forced to marry Uncle T, my only relative. For some reason we ate fried rice at the engagement ceremony. It was dreadful; I thought marriage was something more romantic. Haven't seen Uncle T for about 4 years. Ever since my grandma's funeral. I wonder how he's doing.
Place - Nishi-ogikubo, futon and light blue towel blanket.
Room- apartment house, 3 rd floor, one room and one kitchen Nightwear - navy blue nightgown (brought it myself) Time in bed - 3:30 Time to rise - around 11 Total hours of sleep - 7 hours and 30minutes Dreams - marriage with Uncle T Breakfast - bread, fried eggs, vegetable juice(carrots) Event - Infiltration of U.S.-British Special Forces in Afganistan Dead - 276 (Missing - 5219(estimated )) Whenever the letters 'war' appear on televisions and newspapers, I will barge in on someone to dream a dream at his house. Whether or not it is really 'war', so long as someone calls it so, I will give my oath as follows.
1. I won't go home
2. I won't have sex 3. I won't forget to keep a dream diary I call it the Homesickless ('wanna dream) Project. I stayed over at Daikan-yama and Nishi-ogikubo. Homeless, sexless. Instead of having sex, I write in my 'dream diary'. While there are people dying out there, I sleep at someone's place, in someone's room (as though nothing's happened). If anything occurs I will probably barge in on someone any time. The number of the dead I record along with my dream is only the number broadcasted. If afterwards some place is bombed, and if someone dies, I will add those people to the number. But this number will probably never be correct. About S. On the day that U.S.-British Special Forces infiltrated into Afghanistan, I had it all planned out to stay over at S's, in Futako-tamagawa. But S got into a quarrel with his girl friend over the fact that a girl was coming over to stay. Hey, I told you I won't have sex. (if it makes any difference). Got a call from S saying he owes me an apology. What if the couple breaks up? What if I commit suicide of guilt? What if my lover murders S because of it? What if someone were to die like that? So the number of death brought about from an incident is indeed very ambiguous. As the Japanese proverb 'when the wind blows, the cooper makes money'' goes, so unexpectedly can someone die. Even then, I will keep writing in my dream diary. Even if Japan were to bomb or to be bombed, I will probably have my ordinary dream, and everyone will probably worry if they should study for the exam or not, if they should have sex or not, or what they should have for breakfast the next day. I bought a big map of Tokyo. I labeled the places where I slept in blue round stickers. I'm a very forgetful person. I hardly remember the day when my grandpa died. But strangely, I do remember clearly the place where we had tuna sashimi at his funeral. So, I would probably be remembering New York in Daikan-yama, or Afgan in Nishi-ogikubo, while thinking about breakfast. Not that I know those places; I've never been to either of them. I would just stick the blue round stickers one after another. Not that I believe that to 'not forget' something is the most important thing. I sometimes watch TV. It's usually the women and children who become the victims when war takes place, says the reporter. Indeed so. Religion, politics or power-I'm sure that they make good reasons and everyone has their say. Yes, indeed. For the sake of love, for the sake of liberty, God, or justice. They sure are romantic and strong enough to convince the world. Indeed, indeed. |
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But far from those big words and sophisticated talks, I will have a humble ordinary dream. I will protest against the situation of 'war' from a very selfish reason(:If someone gets killed I have to stay over at someone's house, and that's really tiring, and I know I can't sleep well),trying very hard to keep my word.
Even if people say it's too passive, or too personal, or if they think say it's nothing but terrorism to destroy couples, I will keep dreaming my mediocre dreams. The triangle among home, dream and war continues...... |
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